When I began TGI naptime I was a pregnant mom with a three-year-old. I was on the cusp of quitting my first “real job” to stay at home with my two babies and finish my Master’s Degree.
I began by writing about our life. How I was preparing for the arrival of baby number two and all things mommyhood.
I was preparing my son's old cloth diapers to become my daughters. I was cleaning like a mad woman, composting, gardening, using essential oils, making flash cards, having wilderness adventures. Honestly, rocking mom life if I do say so myself.
I fell in LOVE with blogging and all things business.
and I fell OUT of alignment.
For the past few months, I’ve struggled with motivation. Everything I complete is half-done and not my best work. This post isn’t even my best work.
It’s taken everything in me to get anything done at all.
Here’s the ridiculous way I realized I am WAY out of alignment:
Last week my washing machine broke with 8 baskets of undone laundry (did I mention that I’m a terrible homemaker).
My wonderful nanny took our cloth diapers home to wash. Her family is amazing and cloth diapers and all things natural are what they are all about.
I usually wash the same load of diapers 5 times and can't get it right. She washed them ONCE and they smelled amazing.
“How did you manage that!” I asked excitedly.
. . .
"But I do that. Well, I did that. When J was little. I……"
(Disclaimer: Many cloth diapering mamas swear by this. This is not the point of this post 😛 )
What the heck happened to me?
Who have I become!?
I would never mom shame, I mean easy mac pop tarts…YUM. Clearly I’m no parenting saint, but the point is that this is SO far from where I started and no where near where I wanted to go.
This goes way beyond poptarts. Baby #2 hasn’t gotten anything her brother had. Playgroups and baby dates, sight words before he could talk, baby yoga, mommy running groups, babywearing everyday, the best of EVERYTHING. Little J had it made. I’ve missed out on a lot of the parenting I was so good at the first time.
I had become SO busy and so wrapped up in getting things done that I lost my vision of what I wanted my LIFE to be like.
Not just my business or my career but my entire LIFE.
I forgot the mom I wanted to be.
No wonder I couldn’t get it together. I was living a survival mode lie.
That night I went to Target and refilled my natural cleaning supplies.
I placed a doTerra order with a good friend who had been FB message pitching me for months.
and I bought a BIG box of Starbucks Coffee and a nice new water bottle.
It felt like hitting a reset button or getting back on a nicer track.
I’d be lying if I said problem solved I’m back on track. Hooray.
No I’m still crawling out of survival mode.
My first step is getting back into alignment as a PARENT, the rest will come.
I’ll share that journey here. It will get me writing and maybe it can help you do the same.
I’d say it’s the perfect time to get in alignment with who we really are as moms, so we can get to our real futures.
Until next time,